


I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - Spike Style

by Highlander_II



Series: Spike's Christmas Carols [6]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Christmas Carols, Crack Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-18
Updated: 2008-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-24 10:01:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another Christmas, another song; more carolers to eat - again.<br/><b>Disclaimer</b>: Characters belong to Joss Whedon and are property of Kuzui/Kuzui Entertainment, Mutant Enemy Productions, WB, UPN, FOX etc. etc. "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" was written by John Rox and performed by Gayla Peevey. No copyright infringement intended; 'tis all in fun.  And no hippopotamuseseses were harmed in the writing of this fanfic.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - Spike Style

_  
**I want a hippopotamus for Christmas**   
_

A bloody _what?_

 _  
**Only a hippopotamus will do**   
_

Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me.

 _  
**Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy**   
_

This is just great. Every year, it's the same damned thing.

 _  
**I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy**   
_

How do you 'enjoy' a hippo? Nevermind - I don't want to know.

 _  
**I want a hippopotamus for Christmas**   
_

So you've said.

 _  
**I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?**   
_

The reindeer might.

 _  
**He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue**   
_

You know Santa disembowels children, right?

 _  
**Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do**   
_

Also called 'breaking and entering'. Illegal in lots of places.

 _  
**I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs**   
_

Why wait? Go down in the middle of the night. Get a good head-start.

 _  
**Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there**   
_

Hippo hero? Is this kid for real?

 _  
**I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do**   
_

Right. So you've said.

 _  
**No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses**   
_

I think there's too many 'uses' in there

 _  
**I only like hippopotamuses**   
_

There too.

 _  
**And hippopotamuses like me too**   
_

Somehow, I think not.

 _  
**Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then**   
_

Heh heh! Maybe it will.

 _  
**Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian**   
_

Still wouldn't wanna piss one off.

 _  
**There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage**   
_

Got a swimming pool too? Hippos like the water.

 _  
**I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage**   
_

Hippos need massages? Bloody hell!

 _  
**I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs**   
_

Just get on with it already.

 _  
**Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there**   
_

Right - the 'hippo hero' again.

 _  
**I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do**   
_

Not again -

 _  
**No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses**   
_

\- still too many 'useses'.

 _  
**I only like hippopotamuseses**   
_

Nope still too many.

 _  
**And hippopotamuses like me too!**   
_

Please tell me you're done. And don't come back!


End file.
